Trust: Lifeline of Human life

Relationships are the essence of human society. How can you remain peaceful if you don't believe that your boss will pay your salary regularly? The entire world runs on the trust and belief that everyone will behave properly. However, situations arise when you feel losing trust in another person. How do we correct such problems?

Our life, social or personal, depends totally on the level of trust we have in others. If you do not trust others at all, how you can expect others to trust you?

We can categorize the people into three groups as

1) Those who trust blindly (gullible type)

2) Those who trust easily (faithful type)

3) Those who never trust (doubting type).

Quite often, we are cautioned as not to trust the strangers. Too much of anything is good for nothing. Let us not make the extremes of trust or mistrust, but tread a practical and balanced path of trusting when needed or testing the other person if circumstances point to the possibility of treason.

Mistrust, if appears when it should not, is bound to shake our relationships with others. That too in personal life the impact is regressive. The easy ways of dealing with the mistrust and to enhance the quality of ours and others lives are given below.

1) Assess yourself and become aware of the issue by analyzing the past thoughts and actions. You might be the person who made the mistake of misplacing the trust in a wrong person.

2) Never generalize from the past experiences and treat everyone on the same footing. If one person has cheated you, it is unlikely that everybody will do alike.

3) Learn the positive from the past incidents and experiences by discarding the negative aspects. Instead of feeling let down, try to find out the reasons for the unfortunate happening and take corrective steps to avoid recurrence of the mistrust issue.

4) Trust yourself first by the good deeds and actions done in the past.

5) Never conclude and make judgments on anything based on your opinions alone. Ascertain all the details and analyze before deciding not to believe a person.

6) Discuss your issues with at least two people who are neutral (trusted) to sort out and get the proper perspective. You stand to get fresh and unbiased views, which would enable you to settle the issue.

7) Always express your views and anticipations and expect the other person to understand.

Therefore, be practical and cool-headed to look into all the aspects and circumstances prior to casting impressions about a person and branding him or her as "Unsuitable" or "Unreliable' or "Untrustworthy".

Jumping to a wrong conclusion is bound to affect your own prestige and image.

Books Enable Our Life

Books are the best source of any information. Without them, our life is a Big zero. You can read, write, publish, or print a book. Whatever be the purpose, it serves to enhance and empower our knowledge and skills. The book-reading is a hobby for many of us, while the writing is a hobby for many authors.

One should always read good books to gain the latest information and skill. Generally, the books dealing in Self-improvement, Health, Knowledge, and Spiritualism are widely read all over the world.

The collection of books held by a person will speak about the character and personality of that individual. Great leaders and thinkers always had a huge stock of books in their home and office.

The book-reading habit is sown during our childhood. It grows into a pastime or profession later, depending upon the career one chooses in life. Lawyers, for instance, should regularly browse several books and journals, if they desire to be successful in their trade. The bus driver doesn't need to learn the nuances of his job. However, he does read the novels, magazines, etc. in his spare time. Nevertheless, people having the reading habit through their lives stay busy and knowledgeable. They are respected for their age and wisdom.

Good books (I mean only the printed kind) can be identified by browsing for the Author's name, Publisher name, Quality of paper used, Table of Contents, Reviews made earlier, and Index page. You should certainly and randomly read the pages of a book to satisfy with the contents or the subject discussed. Through the experience of buying them, you will master the above tricks.

Technology has enabled a compact and portable format known as the e-Book. The new version has the same features as the print version, but costs cheaper. You can carry any number of them in your tablet or mobile for ready reference and reading. The main disadvantages of e-Books are the copyright and revenue issues. Because, their contents can be easily reproduced or printed for circulation among the readers, which affects the revenue to all parties involved in the publication of them.

The best way to dispose of old stocks is gift them to the needy people and a local library. Book banks gather the used ones of various genres and lend or distribute them freely to other people in helping their studies or career.

People who make the best and constructive use of books, tend to lead a happy life. Some people use them as pillows to get sleep. Sure, they make the finest companion when you are alone.

How Do People Pretend in Life?

Without the pretensions listed hereunder, our life does not move forward. Actually, such pretensions render our life easy and enjoyable. The proverb 'The World is a stage. Life is Drama,' bears testimony to this fact. As the man easily forgets the past over the future, such immoral behavior is never viewed with skepticism. And it has come to stay as a way of routine life.

Unheard: A convenient and the usual excuse given by many people when the opponent accuses of not minding his or her instructions. Further, the deafness of a person works to his advantage on several occasions. An old man was compelled to rewrite the Will so that his estate would go to a charity. Because, after the ear surgery, he could hear what his son was scolding him. Many a times, persons owing money will play this trick to escape when a creditor calls over the phone or from a distance.

Unnoticed: This is a very common way of ignoring or disrespecting a person. When an undesired guy appears before us, we tend to turn our face and act as if not noticed it. If the opposite party happens to be an enemy, such behavior is natural.

Forgetfulness: It's the most frequently used ploy to avoid any attendance or performance. This is a convenient excuse given by a person failing to repay his debt on time, but the same person remembers the dues payable by others.

Feign sleep: When an unwanted guest lands, the host will pretend to be asleep. Likewise, a kid playing on the cell phone remains silent in the bed when elders check into the room. Students switch off the room lights during the visit of the hostel warden.

Inexperience: A pretext on which many experienced and knowledgeable people seek an excuse for escaping from an emergency. It's a common phenomenon in the workplace. Just for this reason, many people never exhibit or display their abilities so that they can live without risks and avoid the onerous assignments.

Illness: This is the usual reason tendered by almost all people for their absence in a place or event. An office assistant wrote AIDS as the nature of the illness when she submitted her leave application for the previous day absence.

Con Act: This involves well-planned moves to cheat or defraud others by imposters. Any gullible person becomes the victim of such deceit. During journey, a person will offer some snacks or drink to the fellow passengers and disappear with the latter's valuables once they are faint. Medical profession has seen many quacks. Sometimes, bomb hoax tricks will be played for the ulterior motive. Cases of fraud by persons claiming to be Income Tax officials are not uncommon.

Bluffing: Though all the above types amount to telling lies, bluffing by itself is a broad concept. In fact, it's an art that requires skill and memory. A boss passes the information against an employee to the corporate office, but pretends to know nothing while telling the latter about it. Other actors tend to praise the Oscar winner by concealing their true and envious minds. Many politicians use this technique to win the elections.

Nevertheless, such pretensions tend to be beneficial in certain occasions involving the welfare of the individual or society. Mother makes the kid eat properly by pretending that a ghost is waiting to swallow her otherwise. A village refuses to reveal the whereabouts of a person against whom the police has registered cases of crime. The victory of the Greeks over the Trojans at Troy was possible through the misleading large horse statue.

Lesson from Orange

 SURPRISE LESSON FROM SQUEEZING AN ORANGE

As told by the late Dr. Wayne W. Dyer, an American motivational author.

I was preparing to speak at an I Can Do It conference and I decided to bring an orange on stage with me as a prop for my lecture. I opened a conversation with a bright young fellow of about twelve who was sitting in the front row.

“If I were to squeeze this orange as hard as I could, what would come out?” I asked him.

He looked at me like I was a little crazy and said, “Juice, of course.”

“Do you think apple juice could come out of it?”

“No!” he laughed.

“What about grapefruit juice?”

“No!”

“What would come out of it?”

“Orange juice, of course.”

“Why? Why when you squeeze an orange does orange juice come out?”

He may have been getting a little exasperated with me at this point.

“Well, it’s an orange and that’s what’s inside.”

I nodded. “Let’s assume that this orange isn’t an orange, but it’s you. And someone squeezes you, puts pressure on you, says something you don’t like, offends you. And out of you comes anger, hatred, bitterness, fear. Why? The answer, as our young friend has told us, is because that’s what’s inside.”

It’s one of the great lessons of life. What comes out when life squeezes you? When someone hurts or offends you? If anger, pain and fear come out of you, it’s because that’s what’s inside. It doesn’t matter who does the squeezing—your mother, your brother, your children, your boss, the government. If someone says something about you that you don’t like, what comes out of you is what’s inside. And what’s inside is up to you, it’s your choice.

When someone puts the pressure on you and out of you comes anything other than love, it’s because that’s what you’ve allowed to be inside. Once you take away all those negative things you don’t want in your life and replace them with love, you’ll find yourself living a highly functioning life.

Circumstances Decide Our Life

All humans are good at birth. The circumstances only shape and decide their future. Rain water is pure and colorless until it reaches the earth. However, it changes its nature depending on the places it reaches. It remains pure in a river, turns saltish in the sea, and loses its purity in a sewerage. The major circumstances having impacts on a person's life are discussed here below.

Family: The foundations of an individual's growth and character are determined by the moral and economic backgrounds of the family. It plays a crucial role during the formative stage of childhood. Because, a child grasps and learns everything from the attitude and action of those in the surrounding. The elders in general and the parents more specifically, contribute to the character in a person. Nuptial relationship, and incidents like the death, birth, etc., and also affect the future of an individual.

Friendship: Good friends guide a person in the right direction and remain with him during difficult times. A bad company spoils even a good person. Ramayana's author, though a Brahmin, became a dacoit through the bad friendship. Despite the best advice from the father, his son lost money in several businesses as his friend misguided him.

Education: This has a long-lasting effect on anybody's life. Literacy enhances the living standards of a person. Teachers and fellow students make or break the career of a person. It's the teacher who has a great impact on the pupil. The character, knowledge and interactions of a teacher leave deep imprints in the student's mind. Generally, a person gets moulded as a good citizen during the student life. Books that one reads change the future course of that person. 

Society: The political, religious, cultural and economic situations in a society impact the development among its members. The affluent lifestyle of the neighborhood induces a poor person to live rich by resorting to even illegal means like mafia, smuggling, theft, con acts, etc.. A great leader like Mahatma Gandhi made his followers lead a simple and honest life. The rituals of a religion prescribe the means and methods of living. Farmers quit the agriculture due to the uneconomic prices for their produce. The employees lead a marginal life when a factory winds up its operations. Unemployment forces many people to work in far away places or countries. Wars kill many people and cripple several others. History shows that Indian Emperor Ashoka won the Kalinga battle but at the cost of several lives. He realized the colossal crime done for the sake of victory and converted to Buddhism.

Accident: A dreaded robber Valmiki turned into a hermit upon meeting the heavenly Saint Narada, and later he wrote the world-renowned epic 'Ramayana.' The sudden demise of the breadwinner paralyzes a family. A child becomes an orphan when a train mishap kills his family. Accidents due to the blast in chemical factories and radiation from Nuclear plants leave many handicapped and dead.

Environment: Any change in the climate affects the lifestyle of a territory. People migrate to other places when a drought or earthquake occurs. Unfavorable weather conditions render the fishermen's life pathetic. A hurricane leaves a ship passenger lonely in an uninhabited island.

Workplace: The nature and duration of work affect the mindset of a person. People occupying high ranks do not have time even to eat and sleep properly, and thereby invite problems of health and peace. Some people find their new life partners in the office to change their life itself.

Whatever be the circumstances, a person of a sound and balanced mind keeps cool and tries to take advantage of each situation and comes out successfully.

A Second Childhood for Humans

Are you feeling strange to hear this? Everyone knows that any individual starts the life journey as a child upon birth. The time span between the birth and adolescence stages is termed as ' Childhood.'  This period is spread over 18 years after which the adulthood commences. A person in the childhood is commonly called as a Minor and thereafter said to become a Major. A child goes through the phases of loneliness, innocence, stubbornness, fearlessness, and impartiality.

When a person reaches the senility, the behavior changes drastically. The actions and conduct of the aged people resemble that of a child. The old age, in fact, represents the second childhood of human life. With wisdom and experience gained over the early years, the attitude and aptitude of older people should have matured. But, Why then they put up a childlike demeanor? That might be due to the feeling of insecurity arising from the loneliness, inability to carry on the activities like before, depending on others, etc. 

Significant things that show the similarities between the aged citizens and the kids are given here to understand the above phenomenon. 

1. Absence of teeth in the first and last stages of human life.

2. Difficulty in walking and movement without any prop or support.

3. Creating distraction wantonly to attract others' attention

4. Pretension of illness to make others care for them

5. Wishing to eat, drink or do anything that is not suitable for that age.

6. Display of silent anger and keeping mum when things go against their liking, and 

7. Remain in solitude and  avoid any food to express dissatisfaction.

All this show glaring similarities in the behavior that is normally seen in the childhood of any human. Adamant attitude, seeking attention, possessiveness, special care against disease and weakness, and the due respect for age, hate for loneliness, fear of death, etc., are some of the qualities exhibited by the senior citizens.

There is a marked difference between the actions of a child and a senior person. The behavior of the majority children is natural, unbiased, and innocent. However, the conduct of the seniors group is borne out of the selfishness and insecurity. One thing is clear. As a person grows older, the physical capacity weakens and the mental faculties slow down. So, the twilight year of a person's life cycle is the vulnerable period warranting support and care from the other members of the family and the society as well.

Is It Possible To Avoid Anger?

Anger is the negative emotion a person gets in reaction to the frustration or displeasure experienced. Usually, it happens when events go against one's  expectations. A family planned for a movie show, but the same was canceled as the father came late. The children got agitated over the disappointment. A General Manager incurred wrath of the boss for the delay in implementing the plan. Even the failure in the interview was taken casually when a person was in a good mood. A sad mind considers the casual remark of a colleague as an insult. It's customary for the angry person to blame others in the majority of the cases. A normal person can fume for any mistakes, but not a scholar.

Types of Anger:  Based on the time taken for its expression, the anger can be instantaneous or postponed for an appropriate time. Depending on the target, it takes three forms as attacking the opponent, a third person or any object, and blaming the self. Anger consists of two varieties as good and bad. The good one is a win-win situation yielding constructive results to all those involved. The bad type not only demoralize the counter party but damages the self-esteem.

Methods to overcome Anger: The anger is the only emotion that affects both the parties connected with the tense situation. It becomes a disorder harming the health and progress in life when an individual succumbs to it. In fact, anger is a sort of temporary madness. It leaves scars in the receiver's heart, despite any number of sincere apologies tendered by the impulsive person. So, one need to seek the ways of averting this awkward emotion. The vital five methods are listed here towards this end. 

1. Discard high expectations, but keep faith in others.

3. Believe in time and patience. Listen to what others say before jumping to a decision. Adopt the time-tested measures like meditation and yoga to restore the calmness and self-confidence.

4. Accept everything as good for some reason. 

5. A positive approach infuses goodwill in the opposite party. Convey any message in a constructive manner to highlight the significance of even the negative actions.

6. If the anger still persists, move away from the scene. Remain in solitude or go to a serene place of nature or worship till it dissipates. Seek guidance from the learned people. 

One that controls anger is greater than a King. Giving advice is easier than practicing it. We cannot exclude the anger completely as our life rests on faith and favorable expectations. There is no end, but chaos prevails, if everyone gets angry at the same time. It's akin to the spread of fire everywhere with no water in sight to douse. 

Sources of Inspiration in Life

Life sucks from the pressures and pains of the daily chores. It's our attitude that matters most in handling them. A positive approach to treating the hardships and pleasures equally needs to be cultivated. There are many things to make our spirit soar and enable us to live happily. The major sources of inspiration are given hereunder. 

Nature: Everything has a purpose to make the life on Earth enjoyable and fruitful. Nature exhibits many enchanting landscapes, patterns and varieties. Sunrise, chill breeze, rainbow, chirping birds and hopping squirrels are some examples. The smile of kids, the mischief of puppies, the alertness of crow, zebra's stripes, silent and lush forest, hues of flowers, etc. add charm and beauty to life. These sights rejuvenate even the sombre souls.

Busyness: One should keep engaged in one activity or another: even relaxation through dozing off helps. Idleness breeds undesirable thoughts and emptiness in life. Have involvement and sincerity in anything you do unmindful of the benefits from it. When a person gets absorbed in the job on hand, he tends to enjoy it forgetting the time and energy spent on it. 

Celebrations: We tend to feel elated and passionate about life when we celebrate during festivals and special occasions like birthdays, promotions, wedding, etc. Moreover, such celebrations foster happiness and peace which in turn strengthen the value of life itself. 

Helping others: Giving whatever we have to others, yields happiness instantly. That too when done to a stranger produces immense pleasure and a sense of goodwill. Feeding the animals and birds is one such deed. Rendering service and assistance to fellow humans and other life forms is considered to be the most fulfilling act in a man's life. Even remaining harmless by way of words and deeds is welcome. True Love and affection greatly inspire any mind. Mother Teresa made yeomen service for the welfare of leprosy patients.

Counselling: Discuss your problems with trusted people and seek ways to resolve. The Internet is a handy tool to get answers on any issues. Seek the doctor's advice for alleviating the health problems, instead of worrying unnecessarily by keeping them with you. Religion provides spiritual insights to guide us towards a holistic development, but its leaders mislead for the reasons best known to them. The soothing words console the agitating minds. 

Good health: Everyday, do the simple exercises like walking, jogging, cycling, etc. to maintain the physique. Take breaks during the work and engage in a relaxing but interesting thing to recharge the mind and body. Some play Carrom; some drink a cup of tea, and some stroll outside the workplace. A nap after lunch does wonders. 

Diversion: Keep away from the routine through sports and games and hobbies. Play indoor games like Chess, Table tennis and and so on. Go for swimming or cycling. Have a monthly program for outing like cinema, beach, visiting friends and relatives. Schedule yearly trips to historic places like Fort, Palace, etc.. Pastime activities enable a person to get recharged in otherwise sagging moods. Gardening is the most beneficial of all hobbies as it refreshes us, the plants and trees. 

Appreciation: Any praise makes a person to be honest and efficient, but its timing is very important. Recognition for the good work done boosts the morale of the employees. Acknowledging the contribution to the human welfare inspires others to take up such tasks; Nobel prize is an example. Likewise, the simple two words 'Thank You' with a smile express our appreciation. Congratulating for any achievements also inspired a person to perform better. However, wrong and excessive appreciation prove to be counterproductive as well. 

Besides the above methods, one should understand the realities like capabilities, health status, etc. before comparing with others. Many a time, we self-create hurdles and issues by aspirations that are beyond our reach. Be content with what you have, instead of chasing what you don't have. However, endeavor persistently to attain greater heights by constant efforts and legitimate means.

Do not exceed the limit in whatever you do; work, eating, sleep, sex, etc.. For many people, 'staying fit' means 'More physical exercise, Less food intake.' In the good olden days, people were sturdy and healthy as they worked hard without relying on the machines.

Too Much Of Anything Affects Our Life

A man is a heap of aspirations. He strives continuously for many things. In that process, he fails to admire the thrills and spirit of life itself but feels sorry later for not having done so. In other words, he strains much for progress in life at the cost of the pleasures and joy due in each stage of life. The infancy is the only period when the human remains as part of the life. By tracing his behavior in various activities, the adverse impact of overindulgence on the life can be understood.

Education: A child is forced to learn many things that are not appropriate to the calibre of that age. To boast of their superiority, some parents train their wards in car-driving, bike-riding, map-reading, and such activities. Owing to the overdose of information and lack of free time for relaxation, the child develops anxiety and depression at that tender age. During the adolescent-hood also, more emphasis is placed on academic excellence rather than a balanced growth of physical and mental satisfaction. Above all, the attributes like interpersonal and social relationships tend to suffer as the individual remains isolated for concentrating in the studies.

Eating: Excessive consumption of food brings about obesity and all sorts of physiological disorders such as indigestion and blood pressure. At times, the abnormal growth draws criticism from others while the self-maintenance becomes difficult. Eating whatever comes in their way, and spending later for the slimming classes, artificial beautification, and the therapeutic treatments to shed the extra fats are certainly avoidable. Proactive prevention is the best alternative.

Employment: Many people work round-the-clock to accumulate wealth without food and rest. The situation becomes worse if their employment is in a far-away place or abroad. The fallout of such overworking is 1) Self-health is at risk 2) Time spent with the dependants is negligible and 3) Monotony of work leads to frustration. Moreover, the value of money so earned is negligible as the individual forgoes the enjoyment of a normal life with the family and friends. After all, money doesn't accompany a person after his death. Even in the Pyramids of Egypt, the treasures remain intact near the dead as not carried to the heaven.

Enjoyment: Celebration and jubilation are essential stimuli in life. An overdose of such festivity leaves a sense of pride and superiority complex in many people. Sometimes, people engage in misconduct and wrong acts. Out of exaltation and excitement, many flout the driving rules and forget their duties and responsibilities. A man watched a cricket match on the TV quite unaware of a thief looting the jewelry from his house. Sexual activity is good as long as it doesn't become as an obsession. Rich people have a daunting task of keeping vigil and care over their estates and assets; A problem of plenty.

Expenditure: Living within means is the best policy at all times. Overspending results from the animosity in the living standards of people; many try to copy the lifestyle of the neighbor forgetting the level of own income. Consumerism has reached such an extent that excessive borrowing is no more considered as a taboo. The advent of plastic currency (credit card) aggravates the spending pattern landing in debt traps.

Economy: Employment and resources are in great demand as the population has grown manifolds. As a result, the incidence of Competition, conflicts, crimes and wars has increased now. Overuse of chemicals in both medical and pesticide industries led to overexposure that in turn led to serious problems like the emergence of resistant bugs and germs, and environmental pollution.

Even the ambrosia taken in excess quantity affects the health. Medicine becomes a poison when the dose exceeds the prescription. Overdoing anything defeats the very purpose of such action. So, Too much of anything is good for nothing.

 

Life is Full of Paradoxes

Life is uncertain and short. Even so, we live as though it is permanent. Every day, we go to the bed and sleep with the confidence we will rise in the morning to achieve our goals. Man is a mortal being. Still, he behaves and acts as if to stay here forever. Though our body contains several ugly internal parts with excretions and germs, we showcase them with perfumes and clothes. Many people never mind their parents when they are alive, but resort to all kinds of respect and rituals once elders pass away. What a drama, isn't it?

A chick emerges from an egg with the hope of seeing the world, but gets trapped in the claws of a Hawk. Bees are known for their activeness and hard work. However, the delicious and salubrious honeycomb is used (robbed) by the human beings. Likewise, there are many people who toil and save a lot of wealth during their lifetime, but die without enjoying it.

Abundance of wealth by itself does not guarantee the happiness. Instead, it multiplies the worries as one should take steps for its maintenance and growth as well. However, when the same is shared with others, the joy is felt both by the giver and the recipient. A jeweler cannot subsist on the stocks of gold and silver, but depend on others for food, clothing and security. A lay person laments for his inability to have a square meal. Nonetheless, he doesn't bother to save for the next meal when he gets sufficient money.

A traveler desiring homely comfort ends up with a heavy baggage and more worries. He needs to check his paraphernalia now and then until the end of the journey. Conversely, a passenger with less luggage enjoys a carefree and memorable ride but forgoes certain comforts.

A business person keeps worrying about how to maintain and grow his trade. If he doesn't do that, he will lose his reputation and status in the market whilst the relatives treat with contempt. Even if he wishes to get out of these clutches, he cannot but forced to continue within the vicious cycle of worries and joy. Seldom, courage and determination drive a person to relinquish his power, fame and wealth to pursue a life of selfless service.

Preaching of anything becomes handy for many people, though it's disliked in their private life. Especially, politicians and religious leaders use this as a ploy to hoodwink the gullible public. Persons claiming to be detached from the routine life secretly yearn for the worldly pleasures. Sages and saints having a secluded lifestyle, pray for the heavenly abode only.

Distance and time always bring enchantment and respect. The charm of youth makes life rosy, but aging turns it lousy. Likewise, Fame and power are preferred by all. Nonetheless, they cost one's privacy and peace.

Whatever be, Life holds no charm without such incongruities and contradictions. In fact, paradoxes make the life interesting. So, don't lose your heart but enjoy the life.

Value of Friendship

Friendship is the best relationship that a person should have to lead a more meaningful life in this world, next only to the Family system. An understanding spouse is the best friend in married life. When elders treat the juniors as friends, peace and happiness are sure to prevail. Many persons boast of a large network of friends, albeit their hollow and formal interactions. Some people think friendship is only for gaining something. Sorry, they have a selfish motive. Such friendships cannot long last and are bound to snap at any moment. People take it for granted, and they expect their friends' help without any reciprocation. Generally, people make friends with persons of equal status, age and minds. Very rarely, people of unequal status become friends, but such relationship is short-lived.

Quality and Quantity of Friendship determine the level of success and happiness in our life. Quantity refers to the number of friends one has, and the Quality represents the support and contribution made by those friends. The mental and physical capabilities of a person determine the nature of friendship. The studious students make one group while those with a strong physique form another group. In the workplace also, people having the same cadre establish an association. Aged people make their own circle. However, the friendship occurs faster within a gender.

Method to identify a True friend. Time and behavior of a person enable us to determine a good friend. Just by one incident or interaction, never admit one as a friend. The frequency of helps sought, and the reactions thereof, are a sure indicator to assess a good friend. A true relationship consists of mutual trust and help, without expecting anything in return. One step further, a true friend tolerates all the pains in transforming a bad friend into a good personality. Even if the relationship is broken due to the misgivings or the tricks played by extraneous elements, the true friends identify and rectify them towards its restoration. Friends of this sort are few and far between, and they live as Thick pals. Any friendship formed for temporary gains will break away sooner than later. The true friendship always glitters like gold whilst other relationships corrode like iron gradually.

Difference between 'Relatives' and 'Friends.' Relatives maintain a lot of formalities and expectations from us. Friends never wait for any requests or invitation, but participate and help in times of emergency. Moreover, friends do not mind the status, nationality or religion, and mingle freely and equally. Rarely, a relative behaves like a friend. Generally, good friends can become the relatives, but the good relatives cannot be our friends.

A Chinese proverb says, 'Even two can sleep on a tamarind leaf if they are true friends.' The world-renowned Tamil classic Thirukkural states ' A good friend hastens to help during difficult times like the hands swiftly moving to prevent the loosening garments.' East or west, the best friendship bears and beats the life's hardship. Set an example, as a friend, and then expect others to conduct like that. It is wonderful to be a good friend to even an enemy.

Think Before Criticising Others

Everyone desires success in life. Some earn it by working hard while many people derive by pulling down others through criticism and wicked methods. Most of us grow impatient and rude when things are not moving as per our wish and plan. That culminates in chiding and blaming others though the real reason remains elsewhere. Think a while about the consequences if the other person also gets reactive. Both will clash in a duel ending up in bitter expressions and emotions: Ultimately, spoiling the otherwise cordial relationship. Especially, when the criticism emerges from an inexperienced and undisciplined person, it wrecks havoc on the person who is well experienced and more disciplined. Such incidents are regular in an office. The main reason behind such behavior is that we want others to be perfect though lacking in ourselves. Majority of us feel happy to point out the mistakes of others, but fail to notice what we do. 

Misbehavior on one occasion cannot make a person bad. Many of the crimes are borne out of circumstances. A wrong conviction makes a person repeat the crimes.  That's why a Court of law gives sufficient time to the accused to prove the truth and circumstances of the crime before pronouncing the judgment, but not based on the circumstances alone. 

Two types of criticism are commonly found in our life. Anything that evokes a favorable response from the criticised person is termed as Constructive or positive criticism. When the driver of a car jumps the traffic signal, a gentle owner would causally rebuke, "I know you are a good driver but the traffic signal doesn't." If any criticism demoralises a person resulting in adverse reactions, then it is called as Destructive or negative criticism. A school teacher condemned one student for not paying the fees. The latter committed suicide leaving a note of anguish over the incident. 

Criticism for even silly reasons is a sadist approach. That actually earns disrespect and humiliation from others.  We can criticise others only when it is essential and that too, in a polite manner not to affect their self-esteem. Denunciation before others makes a person feel embarrassed and ashamed. Remember, the same situation will also come to us.  

Nonetheless, a person admitting own mistakes will always succeed in life as he uses any criticism as a stepping stone for his progress. He lives happily also without the burden of carry-over and repenting in the future for his mistakes. So, Think twice before accusing or scolding others.  The renowned American author Dale Carnegie said, "Any fool can criticise, condemn, and complain, but it takes character and self-control to be understanding and forgiving."  

Without This, Our Life is Meaningless

Discipline refers to 'Orderliness, System and Code of behavior.' We can notice the discipline in our surrounding nature also. Animals and plants have discipline. Birds fly in flocks. Bees and Ants work as a team. The upper part of a plant grows towards the sunlight while the underground roots spread searching for water and nutrition. Discipline is also a Science as it has a systematic approach for anything. That's why we have various, but related curricula classified as one group as a Discipline. Humanities, Natural Science, Political science, etc., are some disciplines to mention.

Lack of discipline among the soldiers led to the fall of great kingdoms. Absence of practice made many champions taste the defeat. The casual approach of students brings low marks in the exams. For want of maintenance, an important trip got canceled due to the breakdown of the car. Any sports body considers the participants' discipline as more crucial than their achievements. In the recent past, Olympics authority stripped the gold medals of the winners for the sole reason they violated the discipline codes set by the authority. Even an office has a disciplinary authority to teach the erring staff behave properly, or face punitive actions.   

Though discipline is difficult to practice initially, the benefits derived are more. It saves energy, resources and time. For instance, traffic rules represent the discipline for safe and happy travel by all including the pedestrians; any violation of them affects several people directly or otherwise. 

Discipline is always misunderstood as 'strictness' or 'rules.' Actually it refers to a system or set of basic principles for our life. Self-discipline makes a saint. Adherence to such discipline always is the toughest in life. Making others follow such  discipline becomes the most difficult. All great people of the world have one object in common though their approach might have differed. That is discipline only. A person with such discipline is the noblest of all. Here, the discipline primarily comprises the following traits.

1) practice of honesty.

2) exercise of patience and tolerance.

3) readiness to sacrifice.

4) compassion for others.

5) unbiased  approach.

6) humbleness, and 

7) simplicity.

Individuals with above qualities lived, and live among us. They are few and far between. They are praised as saviours and revered as Gods. Honorary degrees and awards are conferred by many universities and colleges on such personalities though they had no formal education. So discipline leads to the focus and uniformity in the approach. It enables us accomplish the goals chosen by us. People having discipline with good purpose are respected by all. George Washington said, "Nothing can be more hurtful to the service, than the neglect of discipline." 

Discipline decides our fate. Self-discipline instills confidence and determination in a person, whilst Team discipline results in cohesion and happiness. It brings fame and names to its followers. In fact, the value of discipline is highlighted and exposed to the world.

Knowledge and Life

The information gained through education and experience is called as "Knowledge". Science is organised knowledge. Wisdom is organised life.' This is what I noticed written on the wall of a school.

Generally, many people think that learning or education stops once they come out of the college and take up a job or profession. It is not the correct way of leading the life. Leaders in any field are the great learners. That is why we find stacks of books kept  in their premises. Learning is an everyday process. Because, the world we live is fast growing with the latest techniques and devices. Especially, the professionals like Doctors, Engineers, etc.. need to update their knowledge as newer discoveries are made and advanced methods are introduced in their fields. Even a Barber has to install and adopt the latest to attract the customers to his saloon. 

The immense value of knowledge is aptly stated in the Tamil proverb 'A Knowledgeable person is respected wherever he goes.' Possession of varied knowledge empowers a person in many ways. For instance, knowledge of languages facilitates fluent and easy communication with the people of a terrain. In case of exigency, we can repair a car if we have the knowledge of its system. We do not lose anything: instead, stand to gain many advantages. What we learnt so far measures the size of our palm, but what remains to be learnt equals the size of World.

There are many ways and sources from which you can get this knowledge. Books, Electronic media like TV, Videos, Computer,etc.. But the most important source of our times is the Internet. It's not suffice to learn but one should develop clarity in that whatever he learnt, and should be able to apply and abide by that. 'Learn clearly without mistakes. Live by it whatever be the stakes' is what the Tamil classic poetry 'Thirukkural' advocated more than a millennium years ago.

The level of knowledge makes a marked difference among the people. Usually an ignorant person tries to show off much like an empty vessel making loud noise. Persons with Half knowledge tend to speak loud as if to display their skill but end up with ambiguity and shame. Half knowledge always waits to give free advice without asking and the takers become it's victim. However, learned people stay humble and never grumble. A person may be knowledgeable but of what use if he cannot conduct himself  for a practical and happy life. One who learns to actually swim in the water will have confidence and courage to swim when an emergency arises. 

Wisdom is innate and cannot be taught. Knowledge or science is sourced from outside and can be learned by practice and observation. The former succeeds even in the absence of the latter. Wisdom guides the life spiritually whereas knowledge helps to live the life physically.

5 Places Where One Should Speak Truth Only.

Truth-speaking is the most rewarding virtue in our life but remains an ever-challenging affair. It needs courage and determination to practice. It has nothing to fear as it doesn't hide anything. It never seeks to remember the past, either. As such, it enables a person to lead a humble and open life. Many great scholars and leaders cherish honesty as his or her life. 'Honesty' and 'Truth' are more related words which can be used interchangeably. Nowadays, speaking the truth in public places is branded as Foolishness, Out-of-fashion and Orthodoxy. Nevertheless, there are five places in our life that warrant truth alone. This doesn’t mean you can bluff in other places.

Places of Law: An oath to tell the truth is administered in any court of law. This procedure impresses upon a person present and declare the facts and truth only. Moreover, speaking the truth makes the judicial process easy and meaningful to take a holistic and unbiased view. Further, the adjudication becomes faster as there will be no going-back or denial of the statements recorded earlier. Likewise, one shall appraise the lawyer with the truths for litigation to succeed. Similarly, a person should tell the facts and truths to the police investigating a case. In short, maintain the identical position in all these three places.

Places of Worship: Whatever be the religion, one should speak the truth and pray with an open mind in a place of worship. Otherwise, it will be nagging throughout the life. Christianity has a distinct system of 'Confess and Seek Apology', to make a person tell the truth voluntarily. All gods are pleased to hear the truth alone. Perhaps, one may think to outsmart the Almighty by playing double roles: praying one thing and doing the opposite. Remember the adage: Mills of God Grind slow but sure. The impact of bluffing before God has severe ramifications in the later part of one's life, that too felt intense during the twilight years.

Places of Health Care: Always discuss the actual problems and sufferings to the doctor in a health centre. Lest, the diagnosis and treatment will go wrong leading to further complications affecting the patient. Such acts of omission also jeopardise the claims for insurance. 

Places of Learning: Whatever be the level of learning a person should never hesitate to speak the truth for the benefit of self: if not for others. Study places such as school, college, etc., are on par with places of worship as they guide human beings. Unless one learns the value of truth in the formative stages, he/she fails to understand the meaning of life itself. 

Home: Is the first place where a person picks up the good habit of speaking truth. The elders should set an example for this to flourish. Everything is shared and consulted in a family without any inhibition or selfishness. Each member speaks nothing but the  truth only. A happy and peaceful family definitely has this trait as one of their secrets. Naturally the societies comprising such households make a successful country. 

 Truth makes our life easy and simple. People worship honest people wherever and forever. Mahatma Gandhi, Father of India, practised it as a virtue of life. In fact, he authored an autobiography titled 'My Experiments With Truth.'

Why Do Waste Time in 'Worrying? Live The Moment.

In life, the only thing you have to do is breathe: everything else is optional only. No individual raindrop ever considers itself responsible for the flood. Life just gives you time and space. It's up to you avail it properly. Look at life through the windshield, not the rear-view mirror. Man cannot take pride in his self, but appreciates the precious life itself.  

Make your life a mission, not an intermission. Many people don't believe in the hard work and persistence. Instead, they prefer casualness and lethargy to suit their convenience without minding the fate of life itself. Any hurdle faced during such a mission is viewed as Failure, but not as a challenge to the skill or experience. However, this doesn't mean getting worried and burdened with the cost of the personal happiness and relationships in the society. Set personal goals and start moving towards them with all sincerity and determination. Alongside, cultivate the habit of enjoying whatever is required of that age or stage. For instance, a school kid should have a clear target of what to do in his studies, and keep doing that. At the same time, he should enjoy the fun of that age like playing, watching movies, etc..  

Life becomes valuable through the service one renders. A fair face may fade over a period of time, but a beautiful soul lasts forever. A candle loses nothing by lighting another candle. Life is so much simpler and easier when you live honestly. It's like a mountain; the higher you climb, the more expansive is your view. Like the game of tennis, the player who serves well seldom loses. A calm sea does not make a skilled sailor. It's hard to beat a person who never gives up. The twin benefits of taking risk in life are: Success brings happiness and confidence and Failure fetches experience and wisdom. However, certain risks are not worth considering as they spoil the life itself. For instance, excessive smoking affects the smokers health and family.

Keep moving to have the freshness of life like an ever-flowing water stream. So, change is always desirable, if life to become interesting and happy. Just imagine: How terrible will be our life if there are no seasons, but only one climate throughout the year? Nevertheless, any change looks terrible at first and later turns out to be handy. Technology was at first resisted and later welcomed for its value addition. 

Do what you can unmindful of what you have and where you are. Many people tend to  feel inadequacy or inability  forgetting what they have or possess with them. Each person has the greatest asset brain to think and act. Many neglect their innate power for reasons: they have lesser resources or power to execute or laziness or the tendency to procrastinate. Two hands and two legs are more than enough to prosper in life. History has several examples of rag-to-rich achievers by sheer belief in sincerity and inner power.  

 'Life is rare,Live with care' is a beautiful slogan displayed on a construction site. Though intended for the safety of people working there it goes beyond to signify the value of our life. A lotus plant draws its sustenance from the water but remains without getting wet. Similarly, live life without getting drowned in it.

Trying to copy others will land in trouble. Even one's life will be at peril. A Sparrow  cannot become an Eagle even if it flies high. A Dog cannot be a Tiger even if it dons the coat of the latter. Like wise, by having a stethoscope, a person cannot become a Doctor. Neither a Black gown wouldn't make a Lawyer. The list is endless. The consequences of imitating others are several and serious. Each person has an individuality that needs to be polished and maintained. Simple truth is 'Remain what you are and Not as what are you not.'

Life turns active when our mind interacts with the surrounding nature. Nature only wins. People that conquered and built vast empires merged with that nature. People that accumulated huge wealth is nowhere. Landlords are now under the lands. Nobody can claim the right to stay here forever as life is leased to you. In a nutshell, 'Came from and Returned to Elements' is the truth of our life.' So, live  the moments happily.

Circumstances Decide Our Life

All humans are good at birth. The circumstances only shape and decide their future. Rain water is pure and colorless until it reaches the earth. However, it changes its nature depending on the places it reaches. It remains pure in a river, turns saltish in the sea, and loses its purity in a sewerage. The major circumstances having impacts on a person's life are discussed here below.

Family: The foundations of an individual's growth and character are determined by the moral and economic backgrounds of the family. It plays a crucial role during the formative stage of childhood. Because, a child grasps and learns everything from the attitude and action of those in the surrounding. The elders in general and the parents more specifically, contribute to the character in a person. Nuptial relationship, and incidents like the death, birth, etc., and also affect the future of an individual.

Friendship: Good friends guide a person in the right direction and remain with him during difficult times. A bad company spoils even a good person. Ramayana's author, though a Brahmin, became a dacoit through the bad friendship. Despite the best advice from the father, his son lost money in several businesses as his friend misguided him.

Education: This has a long-lasting effect on anybody's life. Literacy enhances the living standards of a person. Teachers and fellow students make or break the career of a person. It's the teacher who has a great impact on the pupil. The character, knowledge and interactions of a teacher leave deep imprints in the student's mind. Generally, a person gets moulded as a good citizen during the student life. Books that one reads change the future course of that person. 

Society: The political, religious, cultural and economic situations in a society impact the development among its members. The affluent lifestyle of the neighborhood induces a poor person to live rich by resorting to even illegal means like mafia, smuggling, theft, con acts, etc.. A great leader like Mahatma Gandhi made his followers lead a simple and honest life. The rituals of a religion prescribe the means and methods of living. Farmers quit the agriculture due to the uneconomic prices for their produce. The employees lead a marginal life when a factory winds up its operations. Unemployment forces many people to work in far away places or countries. Wars kill many people and cripple several others. History shows that Indian Emperor Ashoka won the Kalinga battle but at the cost of several lives. He realized the colossal crime done for the sake of victory and converted to Buddhism.

Accident: A dreaded robber Valmiki turned into a hermit upon meeting the heavenly Saint Narada, and later he wrote the world-renowned epic 'Ramayana.' The sudden demise of the breadwinner paralyzes a family. A child becomes an orphan when a train mishap kills his family. Accidents due to the blast in chemical factories and radiation from Nuclear plants leave many handicapped and dead.

Environment: Any change in the climate affects the lifestyle of a territory. People migrate to other places when a drought or earthquake occurs. Unfavorable weather conditions render the fishermen's life pathetic. A hurricane leaves a ship passenger lonely in an uninhabited island.

Workplace: The nature and duration of work affect the mindset of a person. People occupying high ranks do not have time even to eat and sleep properly, and thereby invite problems of health and peace. Some people find their new life partners in the office to change their life itself.

Whatever be the circumstances, a person of a sound and balanced mind keeps cool and tries to take advantage of each situation and comes out successfully.